Ever had those days when all you wanted to do was crawl under a rock and cry until the world passed you by. Time would change, people would be different, and a few centuries would have passed. Perhaps then life would not be as contemptuous as it is now.
Or you be stuck where you are now.
I suppose everyone has that problem now and again. But, all you can do is survive now and cry later. Survive because there are things that needs to be done, your emotional well being be damned. Survive because there are people relying on you, what you want doesn't matter after all. Survive, because it's expected.
How strong are we really? Can you look into your past and say "I survived that because I wanted to". Or will it be "I survived that because I had to" ? I know the last 2 years for me has been a matter of "I have to".
First my father passed away in 2010 of a sudden heart attack, he was 54. But I survived, picked up myself and carried on because my mother needed me. I blamed everything around me for this turn of events of course.
Then in 2011 my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer and died just a scant 14 months after my father in January 2012. Who would have thought, eh? Once again thrown into disarray by nature and possibly karma there was nothing else to but to again pick up the pieces, super glue them back together and carry forward, why, because I had a brother who had never learned the principles of independence and relied on me to make the decisions and sort out his life while keeping mine together.
So, have I ever had one of those days where I just wanted to crawl under a rock? Yes. A thousand times over. But you will never know when you look at me because I have learned how to hide it. Sympathy and pity is not emotions I deal well with from other people. I prefer to have them see me as strong. Silly I know. Everyone needs a shoulder to lean against once in a while. But despite the loving parents I had and the friends around me, I have always been alone. And through that have taught myself how to stand on my own. Life has given me a lot of lessons which I've dutifully archived and use almost daily.
Moral of the story?
Shut up, grow up and be a man (not literally since I am a woman but theoretically since men are seen as the stronger sex).
Peace, Love and Happiness.
